Best USSR Pickup Lines:
Never has international conflict been sexier.
Katherine and I just came up with these and if I may say so myself, they are HILARIOUS:
I want you to collectivize this grain.
How about you treat me like the filthy kulak I am
Cross my volga river tonight.
My 5 year plan? Marry you and make your the happiest man in the world.
I’d like to show your my 5 year plans… But i’m warning you, I usually come up short.
I want all of your pig iron inside of me.
Man of Steel? Let’s see if you live up to that name.
Ravishing famine? well if you’re hungry you can always eat my dick.
I wanted to have 10 years of HARD labour in your gulag.
Siberia was nothing compared to that fringed bitch…. my wife.
Girl, you are DETENTE-ing me in that outfit.
How about you come back to my place and I can show you me Katyusha rocket launcher?
How about I introduce my Kremlin to your gulag?
Your Kremlin or mine tonight?
I want your bolsheDICK.
How about you show me your bosheDICK revolution?
How about we equalize the pleasure tonight?
USSR? How about P.U.S.S.Y?
I heard you’re hung like Rasputin…
I hope you have as much stamina in the bedroom as Rasputin had at the end of his life.
Warsaw isn’t the only uprising i’m seeing right now.
Ruin me like Stalin ruined everyones lives.
You’re going to be screaming ‘the Great Terror’ in the bedroom tonight
I heard you give the head of the KGB.
How about tonight we break that non-aggression pact in the bedroom?
I want to purge on your dick.
How about your putin your dick in my vag?
I heard your left leg was named Mao and your right was Khrushchev, so why don’t they make like Sino-Soviet relationship and split?
I want to launch my Sputnik all over your face.
PereSTROKEa my dick.
Would you like to take a dip in my Caspian sea?
Ain’t nothing soft about this Stalinism tonight.
Duma? More like do me.
Come on baby, storm my winter palace
Sorry baby, but it looks like you and your hand are going to be a single party state tonight.
Is that an ice-pick in your pants or are you happy to see me?
I ain’t an Enemy at the Gate, so let me into your pants.
Operation Uranus is ON tonight.
Let’s take a roll in the Caucasus fields tonight.
I can hardly wait for you to launch your spearhead offensive.
Secret speech? It will be echoing at the neighbours!
Can I Cheka-up on that tonight?
Why don’t you penetrate my confidential files?
The KGB has a list of the dirty girls/the whores. Looks like you might make that list.
I hope you’re ready for unconventional surrender tonight.
I’ve got A LOT of bone to bury.
Would you and Vlad be up but for a two front war tonight?
How about your liberate my southern region?
I can’t believe you U-KRAINE inside me.
Girl, why don’t you open those iron curtains?
I’m stiff like Soviet resistance.
I’m hard as concrete, don’t circumscribe me tonight.
You thought Alexey Stakhanov had a lot of stamina…
The policy of containment doesn’t apply to these pants.
How would you feel about a mass deportation of my sperm?
Let’s play coup: my dicks the tank and you’re Yeltsin.
There’s nothing cold about the war brewing in my pants.
How would you feel about incorporating some of my comrades?
Remember this name because you’ll be YELL-tsin it later.
I’ll show you my essential organ of my central committee
I’m ready to explode like Chernobyl
And for the more adventurous:
Not tonight honey, my white army has suddenly become red.
Ain’t nothing bloody about this sunday.
